She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
