i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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