from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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