I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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