I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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