its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
