the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
