Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
