Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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