Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize