so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
