You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We named our party play list daddy issues
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
