Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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