We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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