He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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