you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
