the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
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