just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize