I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
