whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
