How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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