Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
