The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
