Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
