He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
