rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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