So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
