i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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