I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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