On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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