I don't usually arrange sex via text message
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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