i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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