After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
pray to the hookup gods
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
