bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Randomize
