We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
