do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
