the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The air was thick with penises
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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