you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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