im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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