Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
