you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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