don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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