Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
