You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
