sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
