Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
