I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
