Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
