My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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