its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
