when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize