just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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