Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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