Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
