he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
it's like iHOP with fire
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
