smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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