I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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