Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Success! We fucked roommates!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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