Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
