I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
