I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
