Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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