You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
