I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
